Stationary Struggles
Having a seasonal spot has been pretty fun. It solved the storage issue, since we can’t park the camper in the yard anymore at our new house – the seasonal lot rent is about the same amount we’d have to pay just to store it somewhere.
It’s given Jamey the chance to live his dream of being in Okoboji full time, and have the dream summer job as a boat driver. He’s only been home a handful of times all summer, and he has no problem with that!
No more set up and tear down, no more fights backing up the camper. But it isn’t without it’s downsides too. The big one: I’m feeling the itch to travel in the camper again and struggling with being stationary in Okoboji.
I really miss camping in new places. I miss the flexibility of visiting friends and family and bringing our own home. I miss exploring new small towns and planning big trips. I miss the adventure, the novelty, the fun! I really miss Duluth. I miss going to Baraboo while Jamey coaches in the Wisconsin Dells. I miss new places.
Being stationary is a lot easier on the RV
They say every time you tow your camper it’s like putting your home through an earthquake. Which explains why I found random screws on the floor each time we arrived at a destination.
We’ve hauled that thing across the country, twice. She’s taken a beating.
And after the tire explosion of 2022, we’re both a little more anxious about what else could go wrong.
Being stationary has solved some of those problems. Things don’t break when the camper isn’t towed down the road. Things can and have gone mildly wrong, but Bob’s RV Repair is here and reasonably priced.
Hot damn it’s a long drive
It takes almost four hours to make the drive door to door. That is a long drive. Sure, I could just spend all summer there, like Jamey, and only make the drive a few times, but someone has to mow the lawn. And I really like my big, new house. While I enjoy being in Okoboji, I miss out on a lot of things happening at home; fun town festivals, friend’s gatherings … so while Jamey has basically lived in his happy place, I’ve made the drive back and forth almost every week to come home and deal with house responsibilities. The drive is really wearing on me. I’m looking forward to the fall to just stay home.
Our special place, now with a helping of family obligations
After spending a week with us in Okoboji, Jamey’s parents decided to buy a condo and plan to spend all summer there next year. Are we obligated to stay forever now? Can Jamey live with the knowledge his family is living his dream while he is elsewhere? (Spoiler: no) How will that change the way we think about what has until now been our special place?
Has this camper always been so small?
Living in this small space has never really felt hard before but this year I feel like a damn sardine. I’m tired of fighting the mess of accumulating clutter and fur and dirt. I’m tired of collecting the recycling so we can make $4.00. I’m tired of spending all day and most of the night in a single small space.
When we were traveling, life was full of novelty, which made the mundane parts of life barely a hardship. Now it’s just life. It’s basically like everyone else in their home. We eat at the same restaurants, bike the same trails. Especially since it has been such a rainy summer, we haven’t spent a lot of time by the fire or in the hammock, just inside watching TV. I can do that in my much larger house on my much more comfortable couch.
I turn the dinette into a bed, add a mattress topper and it’s quite comfy. But when it’s time for work, it’s back into a dinette. Sometimes, I just work from the daybed, which isn’t very productive.
At home, I have an entire office to work in and keep my work and personal life a little more separated. In the camper my “office” is also the kitchen table, the daybed, and where Jamey stores his weights so we can still workout.
I’m also resentful that Jamey works 4 hours a day, 4 days a week, while I’m still working 40 hours/week and yet still I’m the one doing most of the cooking and cleaning and dog care, and then I’m the one who goes home to mow the lawn. The scales shouldn’t be this unbalanced.
Let’s get back out there!
Next spring should we have the RV repair guys give this a good once over and get it road ready again, suck it up and pay for storage and get back to traveling?
If it was entirely up to me, heck yes. We can do short weekend trips until school is over and then spend the summer exploring. Sell the boat and get back to camping.
But I think Jamey would say the opposite. He’s happy as a pig in mud. Okoboji is his happy place. He loves having a boat. And he loves his job driving boat. And now that his parents will be there, I’d be a real monster to deprive them of the chance to spend more time with their first born.
So what is the compromise? Jamey thinks we should just buy a small camper so we can do both travel and be stationary. That means another loan, and monthly storage fees. That can’t be the answer.
Stationary, somewhere else
What about Duluth? Well the one seasonal campground I want is right on the river, which I love! But I also worry about flooding after this historic year. And they don’t know if they’ll have space. The other seasonal options are 40 minutes outside of Duluth.
Alexandria is my other choice if we can go to Don’s Lakeview. They also don’t know what they’ll have available next year.
And again … now the in laws will be in Okoboji. Jamey will not handle being somewhere else, while his Mom and Dad are in his happy place.
I committed to one more year in Okoboji so Jamey can spend time with his parents. It will be good for him to spend time with them, without being overshadowed by the grandkids every time. But what will 2026 bring?
Fighting, that’s what it will bring. I will want to go, he will want to stay, FOREVER.
The good parts
Obviously, I still love Okoboji. The lakes are beautiful, and there is a lot to do in the town. I love the bike trails, and the live music every Saturday. I love the farmers market. I’ve enjoyed hanging out with our neighbors, and having visitors come see the town we love. Boating for an hour or two after work is pretty cool, boating to dinner is fun. Of course, it has a special place in our hearts since we’ve been vacationing there for 13 years and we got married there. It’s a really special place for us.
Bigger is better
Would buying a bigger RV make this more bearable? We did look at one for sale with a mid-room that would make a great office space so my office isn’t the dining room table / daybed. I could close the door and ignore Jamey while I work. It’s even towable with our truck, we’d just have to add a fifth wheel hitch.
Man, I do want that RV. But with interest rates where they are, I just can’t justify that right now.
Best of both worlds
I think the real answer is a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. Buy the bigger camper with the space I crave, that offers separate workspace, AND take it out of the RV park for a two or three trips each year.
So … how can I get a loan with 5% interest instead of 9-10% the market currently offers?
To everything there is a season
We’ve had our season of traveling all over with the camper, and now that chapter of our lives is closed. I think I was ready to make peace with that, with the expectation that this season in Okoboji would be only one season before we got a spot closer to home. Now that I have to share Okoboji with the in laws and continue making a four hour commute for another year, my feelings have changed.
Will I ever get my spot in Duluth? Can I really ask Jamey to give up his dream summer job just because I have some enui? I like Okoboji well enough, it’s not like I’m really suffering. This just isn’t what I envisioned for years to come.
What do I need?
Here’s what I need to be happier about another year in Okoboji.
I shouldn’t have to bear all the responsibility while I’m there. Jamey should be the one doing the dishes, taking out the trash, making sure the dogs get a long walk each day. He’s working very part time, he can shoulder more responsibilities.
We should alternate who goes home to mow the law. We are not paying someone $100/week to mow the lawn all summer.
Healthy boundaries with the in-laws and everyone acts like adults. A few days together, and everyone reverts to what I can only assume is their dynamic from when Jamey was in middle school.
An interest free loan so I can buy that camper with the room for an office.
It’s called manifesting, look it up!
