Selling it all and moving into the RV, traveling full-time and seeing all the beauty of this country, is my dream. But after 18 days of living in the camper, I’m over it and ready to go home. Maybe this life isn’t for me.

Where did you go, internet?

I’ve never pretended to love going off grid – if I get the error message “tweets aren’t loading right now” I lose my temper. Sure I can live without Facebook (seriously, everyone should quit Facebook right now, it’s a toxic hellscape full of misinformation that will lead to a civil war) but I need to work!

I really thought this COVID-19, work from home mandate was just the push I needed to go full time, but boy-howdy I can’t do that with Sprint as my cell provider. My service is terrible everywhere and my hotspot can’t be bothered to function. I HATE SPRINT.

Sure, I could pop over to the nearest Starbucks and spend a day or two working from there while getting hopped up on caffeine. If there wasn’t a global goddamn pandemic. Most of these traditional “third space” locations are still closed for dine-in, and in the places that aren’t, face masks aren’t exactly common.

Thankfully, this campground in Duluth has WiFi so I have been able to work here but that is the exception rather than the rule.

What about TV?

And beyond needing the internet for work, I’d like to watch Netflix or HBO once in a while and relax. It’s not like the small towns we’d be camping in (don’t get me started about how unprepared we are to boondock) have a myriad of over-the-air TV channels. The entire summer we spent in Detroit Lakes, we should have been within range of Fargo TV, but all we could get was reruns of Andy Griffith.

We bought a DVD player and dug out some old DVDs we had in the storage room at home so we can watch movies on rainy or lazy days. I’ve tried Redbox rentals and that’s hit or miss – it’s a dying technology with streaming taking over the world. Without reliable internet I can’t watch the next season of Ozark’s, and definitely no watching Minnesota sports live.

Camping with dogs vs living with dogs

And the dogs! The poor, poor dogs! Living with dogs is different than camping with dogs. Toby needs a ramp to get in and out with his arthritis. At home, I can just open the door and let them out to the fenced in yard. They can do their thing while I’m inside. They can lay outside in the sunshine and not walk anywhere. Or they can tear around the yard and wrestle freely (they could, they don’t, but they could). In RV life, every potty break involves a ramp set up and a walk. They’re over it, I’m over it. Toby loves camping – all the walks an new sniffs and new people – but the older he gets, the harder it is on his achy old bones. Even Buddy, my energizer bunny, just wants to go outside to pee and get back to snoozing on the couch. Senior dogs + RV stairs + 20 walks every day isn’t a good recipe.

General safety and predictability

I also just miss the general reliability of a sticks and bricks home. No chance it’ll tip over in strong wind. A car crash wouldn’t leave us homeless. Long, hot showers are no problem. A family room and living room gives us the space to get away from each other as needed. A garage keeps my car safe. I know the roads, the stores, the restaurants … no surprises or scouring on a Tuesday night.

Friends and family

And our friends and family are nearby. We can run now, but we’d miss watching the nieces, nephew and godson grow up! We won’t be there to help as our parents age. There’s no RVing home for Christmas in Minnesota.

I’d miss my book club, happy hours, and bingo dates with friends. No doubt extrovert Jamey would make new friends everywhere, but we’ve both made our little tribes in Minneapolis and I’d miss our people.

I still dream about it

There are so many amazing places I want to see. I love this camper and it is my (second) home. It’s still the dream, but I’m less convinced it will ever be more than just a dream. As long as I have to work and be the breadwinner, I need the reliability of home. I can’t waste half a day searching for strong WiFi and fixing anything that breaks.

As long as Jamey is a achy old man who can’t squat or bend for any amount of time – and isn’t handy in the least – any repairs would have to be done by me or an expensive professional.

Some day, maybe

Maybe this COVID world will make cell services step up and provide better coverage, or maybe 5G will be the change we need. Maybe more RV parks will recognize the need for high-speed internet in today’s world and will invest in the infrastructure to provide that.

Maybe when these two old dogs cross the rainbow bridge (although they assure me they will live forever) it would be easier with a younger dog.

Maybe Jamey will take some courses on RV repairs and become the handyman we’d need him to be.

Maybe one day the stars will align to make the dream a reality. Maybe.